My mum had two sayings that she loved to quote, and whenever she would use them to calm me in the midst of one of my numerous emotional crises, I would immediately feel better. Though she’s no longer here, these words of wisdom often still pop into my head when I’m swimming in crap and feeling like I’m drowning. I like to think maybe it’s her whispering them into my psyche.
“This too shall pass”
This is a popular saying, and the concept was cemented in pop culture with George Harrison naming his brilliant first solo album, “All Things Must Pass”. Harrison was, famously, a devotee of Hindu spirituality and meditation. This saying perfectly encapsulates the concept of impermanence, which is central to Hindu and Buddhist traditions: all nature, all of existence on all planes of reality, is in flux, constantly moving. Thus, nothing in our lives is permanent, and that includes those difficult times when we can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. I find that such a comforting thought.
“What’s fer ye’ll nae go past ye”
Okay, so this will require some translation. By way of explanation, my mum was a Scot, and although her accent was not too incomprehensible, this saying was passed down to her from her Grandma who, I believe, had quite a strong brogue.
The phrase means “what is for you will not go past you”. In other words, “que sera sera, whatever will be will be” (oh, the Doris Day prompt was a few weeks back. I’m too late! 😜). If something is destined to happen to you, whether good or bad, it will happen, and you can’t run from it. If it doesn’t happen, then it’s either not the right thing for you, or it isn’t time yet.
Again, I find this notion comforting. It helps me when the things I desperately want keep passing me by. Instead of blaming myself, or telling myself I’m useless, ugly, untalented, unloveable, etc, I try to console myself with the idea that it just wasn’t “fer” me this time, and if it is “fer” me in the future, it will find its way to me.
The efficacy of these theories is, of course, unproven (although I don’t think many of us could argue against the fact of impermanence), but these sayings bring me peace, remind me that my mum was full of love and wisdom, and make me feel like maybe, just maybe, she’s still keeping an eye on me and making sure I’m okay. 💖