Shaving Complications

Poetry, Wicked Wednesday 1 Minute

Emergency room: sitting

and patiently waiting

For a surgeon to come here and cut,

And drain and then stitch

A pustulant bitch

That’s erupted down there on my cunt.

I thought I’d save money

By shaving my cunny

Instead of a waxing expensive.

Now here in the gloom

Of a hospital room

I’m fighting a pain that’s intensive.

An infected hair

Has brought me despair

And rapidly been escalating

To the point I’m here chillin’

Dosed on penicillin

With an abscess in need of a draining.

The pain is the worst,

I’d hoped it would burst

And require no antibiotics.

But it just kept on growing,

So I’ve had to keep showing

My pussy to various medics.

Now that it’s been popped,

I’ve promised to stop

Putting razors to my pubic bush.

I’ll try to obey

I will honestly say

Cause today’s been a pain in the tush!

So ladies, I beg,

You may shave your legs

But keep the Gillette clear away from

Your delicate pubis.

Else like me you’ll rue this,

And end up with a boil on your front bum!

*True story. Ouch!!

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Published by jupitergrant

Writer of erotica and naughty poetry, sex-blogger, and all-round Smutty Siren. Follow me on twitter at https://twitter.com/GrantJupiter

Published

33 thoughts on “Shaving Complications”

  2. Oh don’t tell me that!
    Admittedly I eschewed shaving my pubes for getting waxed years ago, but a few months ago I had an in-grower that has turned into a small lump. It’s seemed benign so far, but now the doubts are just going to nag and nag and nag and …
    I hope that either this is fiction or your pussy gets back to normal very soon!

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    1. Sadly not fiction 😥 As long as it isn’t causing you pain, it shouldn’t be a problem in terms of infection. I did freak out about it being cancer, because it was so big, but it had come up so suddenly and was so painful it was clear it was more likely an infection. That said, any unusual lump and bumps, if they’re causing you alarm, are worth getting checked. In the vast majority of cases, they’re nothing too serious. 👍
      Appreciate the get well wishes ; my pussy thanks you! 💋😜

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  3. My Queen shaves, but usually only once or twice a week. When on holiday she shaves daily I guess. No problems yet! (Knocks on his head—knock on wood!!)

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    1. Yes, I often shave. And to be fair, in so many years of shaving, this is the first time I’ve had an ingrown so extreme, so in fact it’s probably just a case of bad luck. At least writing the poem gave me something to keep me busy in the emergency room 😜

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  4. Yikes! I admit I’m a shaver, I can’t even bring myself to get a massage from someone I don’t know. Seriously pulled into the parking lot and then right back out and called to cancel the appt. Soooo having someone I don’t know or trust to wax me, ugh just the thought makes my anxiety go up. I may give it another thought though, I’ve been pretty lucky and have shaved for almost 20 years.
    I’m glad you can see the humor in this. ❤️

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    1. Thanks J 🌹 Yes, I’ve always been a shaver as well, and I do suspect that despite the words in the poem, I will still be resorting to the razor. I’ve never had this happen before in all my years, to be fair.
      Yes, got to see the funny side- it’s laugh or cry, really 😉💋

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    1. Thanks Marie 💋. To be fair, in years of shaving it’s the first time things have taken such a drastic turn, and although the docs say that we shouldn’t shave too far up, the female doctors all acknowledged that “we all do it”. But yes, I think in future if I want a Brazilian, I’ll head for the salon instead!! 👍💖

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  7. I always shave. One thing I learned early on is always shave with the grain and also i have found using a bit of hair conditioner helps to keep the hairs super soft. Sorry to hear about your trouble though, does not sound like fun

    Mollyx

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    2. I always have, too, and never had much of a bother. I have recently heard of going with the grain instead of against. I’m afraid I didn’t do that this time. Mea Culpa 😥. But what a great idea about the conditioner. I must try that, thanks for the tip! 👍

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    1. Thanks Elliott. Yes, I’m afraid I was a bit haphazard in my approach to the bikini shave last week, so I can’t really blame my lady-garden for getting so angry with me, lol!

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  9. I have the worst hair down there situation and waxing has greatly improved my life. Since that is not your thing, I have a friend who swears by a dry shave with cornstarch. Sounds insane but a few of the girls in our group have tried it and say it works wonders. I’m going to stick with waxing though! Cute post!😚

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  11. Oh gosh, Jupi! I am prone to abscesses so I know how painful they can be, and having one down here, just sitting must have been uncomfortable, with the skin stretching and all! I hope the pain will subside now that it is drained! I am a shaver too, and I am way too self-conscious to ever go to waxing salon, so I will continue to shave!

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    1. Yep, it’s been pretty painful 😢 The pain is much better today though. Yeah, to be honest I will probably still hit the razor, but if I wanna go Brazilian, I think I’ll either go to a salon or buy waxing strips. Thanks Deevie 💜

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  12. Ahh ouch, I can feel how painful it can be. Last time I tried to shave my pubes, while shaving a few strands of hair towards the base of my penis, I accidentally got a scar on the skin and it delivered pain. And the worse thing was that it was difficult getting rid of pain while any kind of masturbation or sex.

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  13. Pingback: SoSS #6- 03/07/2019 – Jupiter's Lair

  14. Eek! I’ve had ingrown hairs–even when I didn’t shave. Thankfully, they never got bad enough to require medical attention. This definitely goes in the “Funny but True” category! 😉

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